I like denial. Denial is cozy and oblivious. I was never in denial that I was fat. But I was in denial that I was FAT. aka morbidly obese. Denial of this fact allowed me to do lots of things that I probably wouldn’t have done if I had recognized this apparent fact. I probably never would have dated men at least a decade younger than me (have you seen men at 34 yrs old?….no thanks!). I would have never walked across the entirety of the new city I moved to and then get all confused about how I tore the tendons in the bottom of my foot. I would have never let those pictures be taken.

But I digress, the little foot tendon incident might have saved my life. It’s funny I’ve gone to doctors pretty much since I came screaming into this world, yet not a single one ever told me I should lose weight. Maybe it’s too sensitive a topic for my doctors to bring up, but come on, once they’ve fondled my ovaries you’d think the sensitive thing would pass. Anyhow it took my Colombian doctor and my foot to conspire to help me lose weight. Now, yes, I needed to lose weight, I knew that. But it was one of those vanity things to me. This doctor on the other hand didn’t lecture me or try to scare me into dieting (like I hadn’t also been doing that since coming screaming into this world) instead, he gave me solutions. He let me in on the little secret that someone over 50 lbs overweight had a less that 5% success rate at losing and keeping off weight. He suggested I look into medical options. Of course, at the time, I shrugged it off with a rather lame joke and took my needle through the foot like the big girl that I am. No pun intended.

Fast forward a few months and 25 additional lbs. There was I hot on the trail of finding my perfect Colombian obesity doctor. I had done my research and was thinking about a lapband or a gastric balloon. I’m a commitment-phobe kinda gal. So after searching by a very helpful friend and my host family mom I found THE doctor. Dr. Angel, yes really, suggested a little surgery called Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. Basically, removal of about 70% of my stomach, leaving me with a tube like stomach that would restrict my eating, without doing anything freaky like bypassing my colon or tying my intestines into a rare type of balloon animal. Was I hesitant…yes. Did I feel like a big fat loser….absolutely.

Covertly taken shortly after Dr. Angel had told me I would have to give up sugar.

So the big day comes after lots of testing. I did totally freak out there for a while leading up to it. I mean it was the removal of a large part of a major organ. Irreversible. A total lifestyle change…goodbye emotional eating. What now….emotional exercise? So we aligned it so I would miss the least amount of work as possible. This would be the most rockin’ spring break ever! So we went in on April 2nd. My wonderful friend Charity lent me her equally wonderful boyfriend Ben to escort me through the process. The best part was watching the nurses talk to Ben when I didn’t know what they were saying in Spanish. He didn’t either…..he’s gringo in disguise.

Gringo in Disguise aka Ben

In case you can’t tell from above picture this was a Catholic hospital. Also this surgery was during Semana Santa (Holy Week) I got blessed by a Priest and everything.

Anyhow, the actually process was a little in the strange category. Mostly because my Spanish is so poor that I had to go on trust. And they don’t do the whole, “count backwards from ten” thing like in the movies when they start the serious stuff. A nun took off my underwear and that’s the last thing I remember.

Then I woke up and I saw this….

Or more precisely this…..

Yeah well.......you too

Apparently my friends also known as “Team Operación Estómago” had a little free time to decorate my room with glow’n'the dark letters. This, at one time, said “fun” or at least that’s what they tell me.

In reality, I had the best team imaginable. The each were in charge of different aspects of my caretaking. The provided round the clock amusement and distraction and I couldn’t have asked for a better group of friends through this.

TEAM Operación Estómago aka Ben, Charity and Lexi

Yeah, ok, I’m so still on drugs at that point. This is soon after coming out from surgery and me screaming about the pain at the top of my lungs. (but really I didn’t have pain that I remember) I don’t think I’m even cognizant enough to have my hospital gown on yet. I don’t even know who took this picture. It’s actually one of the least embarrassing ones I found on my camera the following day.

So all in all the actual surgery procedure was a breeze. I was out of the hospital in 2 days. Didn’t take any pain meds once released and was up and about the day after I got home. Let me tell you….surgery was the easy part. The next few months were a bit of a different story. A story which will appear soon…

For real information on Weight Loss Surgery and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy this is an excellent site.

http://www.obesityhelp.com/